Great, just great

You see, when classes started last week, I brought along with me in school a tiny, attention-grabber friend. See that perfectly sculpted pimp on my wide forehead? What a sight! Anyway, some people may think that it's easy for me to carry such burden in my already unsightly face. Well, that's what they think. They may not see me complain or grouch about it verbally, but deep inside, I'm hating myself for it! And for someone like me whose confidence is already critically low, having a friend of this kind--a friend who literally sticks around--becomes a daily tribulation.

What a way to start the new semester! I just hope this friend of mine will serve as my lucky charm as I begin to chart a new semester-- a semester which I expect will be more tormenting than ever before.

It's okay not to be okay

So while I was doing my random clicking and viewing on Youtube few days ago, I stumbled upon this piece of good music by Jessie J—Who You Are. I watched the song’s music video and at first, I thought it was going to be dull. I was like, ‘Aha! So someone can actually make some scrappy music video by just plainly facing the camcorder. Lemme try this myself and let’s see.’ But as the song continued on and the lyrics started to become clear and comprehendible to my ears, chills started running down my spines. I was then like, ‘Damn! Jessie just did it again.’ And I remembered her previous songs: Price Tag, Nobody’s Perfect, and Who’s Laughing Now. All of which conveyed a certain special message. All of which left a deep impression on me (which I believe is a trademark of a good and beautiful music :p).

So if you’re now feeling low, stressed, defeated, and you think the whole world is closing in on you... that everyone’s sabotaging against you--- take a break. Soothe your soul. Serve your ears with some good music. It’ll help. Somehow. :p

MV link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2WWrupMBAE

Who You Are

by Jessie J

I stare at my reflection in the mirror:

"Why am I doing this to myself?"

Losing my mind on a tiny error,

I nearly left the real me on the shelf.

No, no, no, no, no...

Chorus:

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,

It's okay not to be okay.

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.

Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,

Just be true to who you are!

Who you are [x11]

Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?

I forgot what to do to fit the mould, yeah!

The more I try the less it's working, yeah

'Cause everything inside me screams

No, no, no, no, no...

(Chorus)

Yes, no's, egos, fake shows, like BOOM,

Just go and leave me alone!

Real talk, real life, good luck, goodnight,

With a smile, that's my home!

That's my home, no...

No, no, no, no, no...

(Chorus)

“It's okay not to be okay.” Hmmm. Is that a smile I'm seeing on your face right now? Oh yes it is. :))

PS: SEMBREAAAAAK na namo! Bleeehh! XDDDD

The Happy Loner

Blockmate 1: Hello Herald!


Blockmate 2: Hello Herald!? (As if talking to a deaf)


Herald: (With a nervous, shaky tone) Oh, hi there!


[And the conversation stops there]

***

[The bell rings for a two-hour break]


Blockmate 1: Where are we gonna stay now?


Blockmate 2: Let’s go to the canteen! I’m hungry.


Blockmate 1: Eh, how about you Herald? Would you like to join us?


Herald: (so glad that he was actually asked) Uhm, well, uhm---- (B2 suddenly interrupts)


Blockmate 2: Nah! I’m pretty sure he’ll be off to the library AGAIN. Study habits, as they say.


Herald, talking to himself: W-H-A-T?? LIBRARY??!! Are you serious? That place is only for the LOSERS who got no friends! A refuge for the LONERS!


[But Herald silently still proceeds to the library,with his stomach growling loudly]

***

I am the kind of person who is very used to being alone. Surprisingly, it neither makes me happy nor sad.

In high school, although I had my circle of friends, I still felt that I only existed behind their shadows. But I really didn’t mind. Aside from the friendship we were building, the security that stems from it was what I needed. Like any other growing teen in high school, I also dreamt ‘to belong.’ I sought for that sense of belongingness. And in high school where the world seems to be literally small, it didn’t take me long to find it.

But high school was entirely different. I’m now in college where things are tougher and people fiercer. There may be thousands of students from all walks of life here, but the sense of belongingness that I am searching for remains elusive. Friends in college are indeed scarce. Or should I say, friends here in college are unfortunately scarce... TO THE ONE WRITING THIS ARTICLE.

But hey, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have friends at all. I still have. And although they may not be as many as the fingers in your one hand, I think it’s already better than having none at all.

Okay, so I’m still sort of a loser loner. But I’m not the typical nerd-looking loner whose vacant hours are spent in the library (although I’m already getting accustomed to spending most of my time studying). I don’t know why but I’m just happy being alone. It’s like I get to observe the world around me without actually involving myself with them. It’s like I’m just in the level of a spectator who doesn’t care much about what people would say to me. It’s like they anticipate for the every word that my mouth would utter. It’s like I’m creating my own world out of my unbreakable silence. It’s amazing! It’s like I’m baffling people with my aura of mystery. For them, I am puzzling and mysterious. And it just always thrills me whenever I see them trying so hard to figure me out with my imperviousness. And I must say I’m loving it! It’s very different from my world in high school – busy, tiring, noisy, no peace, almost without privacy. Cool! Loner? Definitely! Playing safe? Probably. Crazy? You judge.

But wait. I’m not here to encourage you to detach yourselves from social ties. I, too, am still learning to establish bonds and to socialize with others. I know that living one’s self alone is unhealthy, and it may not do him good in the long run. So instead of distancing myself from people, I know that I should start opening up myself to them. I also know that I must squash the feeling of ‘intimidation’ if I want to gain friends. This has always been the problem with me: I easily get intimidated with the people here in college. (But hey, why would I? Perhaps I just need to have a boost of self-confidence! Go Herald!)

You may think now that I’m insanely faced with a dilemma. But I tell you, I am not torn between being a loner and being a social individual. This isn’t a struggle for me. THIS IS SKILL! (Oh yeah? Lol) Without any intent to brag, I know well how to handle myself. I am a loner and can be silent at times, but I can also be the opposite when I want to. I just happen to discover the ‘peace’ of being a loner and the solitude it offers, and then learned to love it. This is indeed a skill! (Whatever!)

So what if I’m a loner? It doesn't add any bout of misery in my life anyway. At least I could get the chance to view the world from a different perspective. At least I’m honing my intrapersonal skill (is there such a skill?). But more than anything else, at least I could prove to everyone that the *oxymoron ‘HAPPY LONER’ does exist!

You have to believe me. I'm a living testament to that.

***

Instructor: Okay, class. We will have a game and I want you to group yourselves into five.


Herald: Uh-oh!


[Students begin to form groups]


Blockmate 1 (leader of one group consisting blockmates 2, 3, 4 & 5): is it okay if we're six in the group sir?


Herald (to blockmate 1): No, don't bother. I'm fine. Really.


Instructor: Oh I forgot to tell you. The mechanics of the game is for everyone to find a group. He who has no group loses the game. In other words, the LONERS are the LOSERS!


...are the LOSERS! the LOSERS! LOSERS! (echoing into Herald's mind...then fading)


Herald: WOW SIR! THAT HURTS!

***

-end






NOTE: the article above is written quite exaggeratedly :D :D :D
*oxymoron- A figure of speech in which incongruous or contradictory terms appear side by side (examples: open secret, living dead, burning cold, dark light)

Finding peace behind the clouds

Incessant bombings and killings. Burgeoning corruption and poverty. Chaos--unending chaos.

I turned off the TV. It totally bored me to see all those recurring news regarding our country. Humanity being torn between good and evil, with evil almost embracing victory.

Everything’s just way too disheartening. Way too confusing.

Tired of watching such dismal scenario, I went outside our house. I gazed at the boundless blanket of blue sky above me, tried my luck to seek anything that is possibly there... and prayed. But what could this be that I’m trying to seek? This that I’m deeply longing and praying for?

The fathomless dome above me seemed to be nothing more than a virtual empty space. Yet despite the void that it is, is the presence of a feeling of calmness... a peculiar tranquility giving off an aura of security... but what is this feeling?

I could hardly distinguish this relaxing mood enveloping my very being. What could this be? What could this be that seemed to brush off every dust of weariness that I feel? What could this be that completely silenced all the wailing and the whining inside of me? What could this be that rejuvenated my soul so gloriously?

My consciousness, with all its might, tried to conjure up a reasonable explanation for what it was.
Then my mind fell into one judgment: Peace.

Yes! It should be peace that I was feeling right then. Yes, PEACE--this elusive remedy I was long been searching for, which from out of the blue I suddenly discovered in the midst of my soul-searching. This peace which arrived with an entourage of angels. This that would finally bring solace and relief to my disheartened feeling and enlighten the confusion within.

Oh PEACE! I love this feeling! But if it does exist, why do most people still choose bombings and killings over amicable measures of achieving their goals? Why do politicians still believe that corruption is an effective resort to cultivate and amass wealth? Why do masses of people still have to wallow in poverty’s lair?

Why don’t people just simply dig up the happiness from the simple things? Why choose to listen to an ugly orchestra of divisions, hatred and selfishness when we have the option to sing gleefully in the symphony of brotherhood? Why don’t people just stare at the sky and read behind the clouds the invisible signboard which reads “PEACE” hidden in its vast nothingness?

After mulling this over, I found myself hoping: hoping that people may learn to discover PEACE in their hearts; hoping that people may see the million little things around them worth grinning at; hoping that people would find time to look up at the sky and learn to seek PEACE in their solitude; and finally, hoping that people may learn to kneel in worship and extend both their joy and misery to the one true King of Peace, the Almighty!


Ad majorem dei gloriam!

An inspired writer wanna-be

After reading some really beautifully-crafted articles written by some of my seniors in the university, I suddenly had this I-also-want-to-be-like-them feeling, and was obviously inspired because of their works. And with a profound admiration for their passion in writing, I then just found myself secretly setting a goal to which my “amateur writer’s life” will surely be tied up with.

***

I want to be a writer, not just someone who knows the proverbial subject-verb agreement and conforms to the complex set of grammatical rules.

I want to be a good writer. Someone who can put into a beautiful tapestry of writing my feelings and my thoughts. Someone who can make his hand and his pen smoothly work together like that of the formless water flowing so exquisitely in whatever kind of surface it may stumble across. Be it rough and rocky or level and smooth, it still can stream freely.

Yes, I want to be good in writing. To be good in letting my mind freely embody its repertoire of ideas into words. To be good at breathing life to a jumble of flowery words. To be good at aggregating my scattered and wandering thoughts. Yes, to be good at expressing myself.

***

I was just inspired. Sometimes, a little dose of inspiration is just what it takes to get me steaming with enthusiasm and drive me overly melodramatic about the trivial things. But hey, lemme make this clear, writing isn't a trivial thing for me anymore. Matter of fact, I just made a sort of an official statement, haven't I? :p

A clamor from someone gone mad while on a sembreak

Herald turns on the TV... and later gets bored.

He opens the ref for something to eat, devours it... and later gets bored.

He visits his Facebook account for a while... then he gets bored.

He picks a book, tries to open the first few pages... and he gets bored.

He surfs for anything on the internet... and boredom strikes on him.

He reaches his phone, texts something... and what’s new? Boredom paralyzes him.

He tries to sleep, dreams about nothing... and guess what, his soul still gets bored. Yeah, nothing is more boring and lifeless than having to float in some dreamless sleeps.

This is hell. He is doomed. The sembreak’s notorious BOREDOM SPELL is cast on him.

_____________________________________________________

Hellish. Deafening. Pricking.

This has been the track of my life in the past two weeks. And this has been how my SEMBREAK was softly killing me, torturing me... while I am helplessly caged in its powerful spell of absolute tediousness and dullness... which will inevitably lead me to an appalling state of nervous breakdown if situations were left unattended... gently driving me insane in the process, tormenting my very soul... until finally, such breakdown will be reached and the irrevocable spell will completely take over my reasoning... incapacitating me to a deathlike stupor!

And now, my only desire is for this sembreak to end... for this whole pervading pandemonium to bid its farewell. If sembreak would just draw to a close, I know I can break free from the spell. But how could I still have the faith to grasp to this little shred of hope if my mind’s utterly certain that the remaining days of this break would only serve to prolong the agony in an unimaginably hundred-fold efficacy?

Doomed.

***

Not the best, just the ordinary

I am—well at least I was—that somebody who used to be the center of attraction when I was in high school, surely not because I possess those rare savagely attractive looks, but only because I was then what they called the achiever, and all the other names that might come along with it—the honor student, the studious, the bookworm… always the winner, excellent!

In the same sense, the thought that I used to be the one to be focused on the spotlight has also made me believe that I was exceptional, different from among the others. All was a vivid picture of an ordinary public high school, where ordinary students come and go, and where ordinary teachers just remain for almost the rest of their lives. And at the back of my mind, I certainly knew: I was different.

But soon, a sudden gust of fate might blow everything I used to believe in. I will now be entering college and will be brawling over the hectic and unforgiving routines of a university. I’ll then be wrapped by its school uniform bespeaking that I am a proud Atenista, which will somehow make me appear more scholarly than I thought I had already been. I will soon be poring over the thick textbooks that my subjects would require me and also be scribbling down notes in the conformity of my classes. I will soon be trying myself to be accustomed to commuting from now and then as I pay visit to my town, as well as budgeting my allowance in the wisest way possible.

And the most dreadful of all—yet probably the most exciting and challenging—is that I will also be starting to wear the figure I previously least liked and cared about: the ORDINARY figure. I will soon bear the mask that will identify me as one normal student, not the 'me' who once used to be the achiever, who had gotten used to the fame over the spotlight. I will be under the guise of someone who is not an excellent student, but rather, just under the figure of an ordinary student.

YES! I am fully aware that as soon as I enter the world of college, I’d also have to expect less of myself, because out there lurks a huge heap of students which is definitely as competent—or even more competent—as myself. While I know that this is not a wise and a good option to do, I still believe that the only way for me to get through college is to lower my self-esteem, to wreck my pride and to shatter my confidence in order to be not regretting anything or getting embarrassed in the end.

This might be good for me in the long run. I won’t expect much of myself in such a world where I might be inferior to my colleagues. I won’t dare fight against such strong opponents, for if I do, I know I’ll only end up affirming the fact that I am weak, maybe the weakest. I fear to lose, but I fear more the fact of losing against those whom I already knew are undisputed and unbeatable.

I may be a coward now. But so be it, 'coz I am indeed a coward.

In this new chapter of my life, I am ready—but still afraid—to face what this new twist has in store for me. In college, I won't become the best, and surely cannot be the best. That’s why I’ve decided to wear the ORDINARY STUDENT mask, wherein I will look like just an ordinary student: burdened with pressure, and then eventually defeated by the pressure. I will work on my clearances like an ordinary student, not expecting to maintain my scholarship. I will study my lessons and read my books and still won’t expect to get the highest score.

I will follow the routines of a normal student: school, home, school, home… and yet, I will not expect to be caught by the blinding spotlight and the flashes of praises from the people around me. I will do my best, but I won’t expect to be on the top. There in the prestigious university I will soon attend to, I am not a somebody, I am just the ordinary. And I better get myself up on this piercing truth.

That’s how life would definitely go in college. And as life goes under the sun, I’ll be most comfortable—and most unhappy—to be wearing the ordinary figure. I will just be the normal student--not the best, just the ordinary. =(

'Dear John': The Magic of Letters

What would you do with a letter that changed everything?

As of this writing, I would have already watched ‘Dear John’ twice. But no matter how I think my taste would have changed this time, I was still utterly certain of one thing: it was mesmerizing, as ever. Even if I’d watch it over and over again, I know I wouldn’t get tired of it.
Well, I guess I have no right to be obsessed with his works since honestly, I never had read any of Nicholas Sparks’ novels. I’ve always seen only the cover of his books in the bookstores but I really didn’t get the chance to read though their pages. I have to admit that I’m not that really much of a bookworm. I get easily tired of reading verbatim, and I’d rather watch it on actual, on movies.
Well anyways, I am writing this article to express my praises for the movie ‘Dear John’. It magically hooked my being. Watching it on the TV’s screen was not far different from being on the story itself. I was really ‘into’ it. I was caught on it. I was all but loving ‘Dear John’.
Okay. So ‘Dear John’ is starred by Channing Tatum, who was playing as the main male protagonist ‘John’, and Amanda Seyfried, who was breathing life to the character of ‘Savannah’. Since I am not that good in storytelling, I guess it would be better if I leave things vague, and not narrating the entire story detail by detail. But I wonder… how would I let this article end on such a way? Well now, I guess you really have to watch the movie for yourselves. Probably because of how deeply it penetrated down on me, I simply cannot pour down into writing my brimming love and praises for ‘Dear John’.
Nonetheless, as a generalized introduction, the story somehow revolved around writing, sending, receiving, then finally reading ‘letters’. Yes. LETTERS!
But before the ‘letters’ stuff, John met Savannah in the beach near their respective homes. The movie opens with John, surf boarding through the waves; when Savannah enters the scene accompanied by her friends. A friend of Savannah accidentally dropped Savannah’s bag into the waters. John sees it, and immediately, he expertly dives into the sea to retrieve Savannah’s bag. Right after rescuing Savannah’s precious bag from sinking into the sea, John reluctantly returned it to her. Savannah was very grateful to him, saying that she greatly owed him. And from there on, their romance blossomed, growing profusely within just two weeks, before John returns to the Army while Savannah back to school.
That’s all it took them. Two weeks. And they easily fell in love with each other. It seemed very short from a normal perspective, but a lot of things had happened within such duration. John met Tim, the fatherly-figure in Savannah’s life; Savannah met John’s dad; John got to help Savannah rebuilding their devastated house; et cetera, et cetera. It would be a very long list to elaborate them all.
Well, you see, since John was assigned in the US Army - Special Forces, he needed to be far away from Savannah most of the time. And as their two weeks of being together comes to end, before John flies back to the Army, he wrote a tattered letter for Savannah. It wasn’t an official letter, but it gave Savannah some good idea. She then made John promise her to make her know of everything that was happening to him while he was away. She told John to scribble down every detail of his life in letters. In this way, no matter how far they were from each other, it seemed to bridge their lives together. COMMUNICATION. It was what the letters would be for. To let both of them know what’s going on with each other. So that somehow, they’ll be connected.

BUT FOR HOW LONG?

Were the letters enough to keep the relationship going? Well, that’s how it would lead the story to a lot of twists. Through the letters they wrote for each other, the story progresses. Through the letters they sent and received, both lives will be changed.
***This is all where the magic is. In the LETTERS. And personally, I was always greatly carried away by the magic. ‘Dear John’ meets my heart in a close-up.
What would you do with a letter that changed everything? For me? I surely will take chances. I’ll certainly respond to it, as long as I would be happy with such life-changing endeavor.
Well, I know I wouldn’t be able to end this article in a good way, partly because I don’t know the exact words to say, and partly because I am so much ‘into’ it that I don’t even know how to start and how to end praising such great movie. But anyhow, ‘Dear John’, on my intuitive perception, is definitely more than a STORY itself, it got its own life. It reveals a LIFE in the letters. And there’s the magic of LOVE, too.

We love PC!

[ For and by: Tisay. Herald. Al Savior. Jireh. Ati Beth. Glen. Maam Metot. ]

"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."

We just love Paulo Coelho. Him and his super magical, wonderful, life-changing, compelling, striking, endearing, inspiring, riveting, spellbinding books! Any positive adjectives? Name it! That's how we truly love his works, and the magic of his writings which never fails to alleviate our stress after reading his stories.

Well, I am writing this article not to sell Paulo Coelho but to at least share to everyone how good, or if not, BEST, his books are. There are surely many points in his stories which are really worth of contemplation. If you want, you can also list down the inspirational quotes that you'll encounter as you go over every leaf of these good books by PC.

The image above is the cover of probably his most famous book, 'The Alchemist', which was personally the first book of him that I read. But great as this one, all his other books will equally inspire and enlighten you in the exact same way they hypnotized us.

This piece of writing won't be long. I would just like to tell everyone, that like us, be inspired with Paulo Coelho's masterpieces as you'll soon discover in yourself how these wonderful stories touch the course of your life. =)