It's okay not to be okay

So while I was doing my random clicking and viewing on Youtube few days ago, I stumbled upon this piece of good music by Jessie J—Who You Are. I watched the song’s music video and at first, I thought it was going to be dull. I was like, ‘Aha! So someone can actually make some scrappy music video by just plainly facing the camcorder. Lemme try this myself and let’s see.’ But as the song continued on and the lyrics started to become clear and comprehendible to my ears, chills started running down my spines. I was then like, ‘Damn! Jessie just did it again.’ And I remembered her previous songs: Price Tag, Nobody’s Perfect, and Who’s Laughing Now. All of which conveyed a certain special message. All of which left a deep impression on me (which I believe is a trademark of a good and beautiful music :p).

So if you’re now feeling low, stressed, defeated, and you think the whole world is closing in on you... that everyone’s sabotaging against you--- take a break. Soothe your soul. Serve your ears with some good music. It’ll help. Somehow. :p

MV link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2WWrupMBAE

Who You Are

by Jessie J

I stare at my reflection in the mirror:

"Why am I doing this to myself?"

Losing my mind on a tiny error,

I nearly left the real me on the shelf.

No, no, no, no, no...

Chorus:

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,

It's okay not to be okay.

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.

Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,

Just be true to who you are!

Who you are [x11]

Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?

I forgot what to do to fit the mould, yeah!

The more I try the less it's working, yeah

'Cause everything inside me screams

No, no, no, no, no...

(Chorus)

Yes, no's, egos, fake shows, like BOOM,

Just go and leave me alone!

Real talk, real life, good luck, goodnight,

With a smile, that's my home!

That's my home, no...

No, no, no, no, no...

(Chorus)

“It's okay not to be okay.” Hmmm. Is that a smile I'm seeing on your face right now? Oh yes it is. :))

PS: SEMBREAAAAAK na namo! Bleeehh! XDDDD

A defining stroll at Divisoria

Who would have thought that even a beggar or “pulubi” who stretches his arm out for people’s alms has his own story to tell? Behind the calloused hands and ragged appearance, who would have thought that he too, ignored and dehumanized most of the time, has his own story to share?

Amidst the hustle and the bustle in the crowded Divisoria of Cagayan de Oro, it’s hard not to notice these unfortunate people who do seem to be out of place: the beggars. Today, it is presumably safe to say that this segment of the population we call “mga pulubi” is almost a common sight in almost every corner of our country – a disheartening fact which only affirms how miserable the state of the Philippines has become.

In connection, for our first Formation Group (FG) Social Exposure activity, our group chose to integrate ourselves to the lives of our neglected “pulubi” brothers, particularly those who dwell in Divisoria. In this activity, I, together with John Ed and Micah, had the chance to stoop and listen to the story of Danilo Fernandez, a 70-year-old pauper who has considered Divisoria his home and shelter for almost a year now.

He had just awoken from his light nap on a concrete bench when we spotted him. His clothes, tattered and dirtied with the pollution around him, were on the same untidy state as his shaggy, uncombed hair. The veins of his body were very pronounced, almost matching the long, untrimmed nails of his hands and feet. It was a poor sight that truly made our hearts weep with pity and sympathy.

As we sat beside him, we were all ears to what he has to share. He did not delve anymore into details but it seemed that he was left abandoned here in Cagayan de Oro by his daughter when they were about to set off back to Luzon (as he is originally from Luzon). From then on, he lost contact with his family and relatives and began a struggle for survival as a street beggar, enduring not only the scorching heat of the day and the night’s icy breeze, but also all the humiliation stoned at him, as any other person tagged as ‘pulubi’ would have to brace up for.

It was hard for him. Knowing that his own family has abandoned him has definitely lowered his spirit. Each day passed without certainty of reaching the next. Each day’s sunset took with melancholy, with the lingering fear of not seeing tomorrow’s dawn. It was indeed a daily cycle of an uneventful life.

But it doesn’t end there. In my part, as a mere listener and observer, I was deeply moved by the one thing he still keeps in his heart: his faith, which was evident in the terse statements he uttered that included God, as tears kept rolling down his saggy cheeks. He has not forgotten God even in such bleak situation he is now in. It is that strong kind of faith that helps anyone to see hope to spring amidst the futility of the circumstances. And it is such faith that makes the poor and the feeble likeKuya Danilo to be rich of God’s love and to be strong against the odds.

***

The scanty amount of food (a burger plus a tetra-pack of juice, an apple and an orange) that we gave him served unimportant compared to what we have realized: that we should not judge other people by the preconceived stories our minds unreliably create about them, but instead, by the stories they have to tell when we first lend them our ears... and hearts. :)

2011 plus 1 equals the end of the world

It was just weeks ago when the fireworks were lit up in the sky to welcome New Year 2011. The great relief of triumphantly surviving year 2010 was a common feeling shared by all. However, as we all advance in meeting whatever 2011 has in store for us, we also find it hard not to fear the prospect of drawing closer and closer to 2012— the proverbial year they say would be the end of the world.

Well, I am writing this article partly because I haven’t written anything for ages already, and partly because it sunk in me that recent events – events which are plaguing our minds with questions and doubts – must now be viewed from a new angle. And for this purpose, let me play as your Nostradamus Jr., as we all try to uhm, unveil the future through trying to comprehend the following phenomena/events (LOL!):

***

Manna from heaven?

"A mysterious rain of thousands of dead birds darkened New Year's Eve in Arkansas, and this week similar reports streamed in from Louisiana, Sweden, and elsewhere.”—National Geographic Daily News

The first time I heard this news, I was really taken aback. A huge number of dead birds falling from the sky at the very outset of New Year? Yay, that’s something! The news undoubtedly did not fail to catch the attention of the world. And though scientists already declared scientific explanations for such ‘rain of dead birds,’ people still aggravate the hype by linking the phenomenon to the 2012 end-of-the-world predictions. But then, who wouldn’t? Now that we’re only a year away from 2012, does the idea of 5,000 birds losing balance in mid-air sound normal? CREEEEEEPY omen!

A wave of carnage

Now let’s keep the momentum going. When I was continuing reading related articles from the net, I learned that it wasn’t just birds. From birds showering from the sky, here is another series of unexplainable animal deaths which made my eyes really bulge out from their sockets.

*excerpt: ”Numerous additional mass deaths of fish, birds and wildlife occurred within the same week as the Arkansas birds. These include, among many others:

• 100,000 dead drum fish washed up in the Arkansas River
• The bodies of thousands of turtledoves raining down from the sky in Faenza, Italy
• Approximately 500 birds found dead in Louisiana
• Dead jackdaw birds found in Sweden
• About 80 dead pigeons found on a farm west of Quebec City
• Thousands of dead fish in Spruce Creek, Port Orange, Florida
• Two million fish dead in Chesapeake Bay, Maryland
• Coromandel Peninsula, New Zealand beaches filled with bodies of snapper fish
• 40,000 dead crabs in Kent, United Kingdom”

A long list indeed! If all these were mere coincidences, then I reckon our world is certainly leading to... never mind. (hahaha)

Not an Aquarian anymore?

To scramble things more, the zodiac sign you thought you were born under, which you held important for your horoscopes, may not have been true all along at all! When I learned of this, it was like a piece of my 16-year existence was stripped away. You see, I am an Aquarian (or so I thought), and now I am totally confused: am I not an Aquarian anymore? This entire buzz was because of this urgh---- Ophiuchus thingy, which astronomers propose to be the 13th zodiac sign.

Well, it’s not actually a new discovery. The debate over this astrological matter has been going on for more than a decade already. And as I see it, it’s kind of a clash between astronomers and astrologers! (To know more about the stand of each of the two sides, kamo na’y research! Haha) I’ve already read a number of articles about this subject and I’m keeping my own stand to myself!

After everything has been said and done, the question that still persists on clawing out from my mind is: ‘Why has it become such a big thing NOW if it already caused steamy arguments long ago? Has it got anything to do with the nearing of 2012?’ (with background music of loud heartbeats: LUB, DUB, LUB, DUB...)

True or not, let us all just remember: “Hindi hawak ng mga bituin ang ating kapalaran, gabay lamang sila. Meron tayong ‘free will,’ gamitin natin ito.”

Tropical snow

Well, I’m not really sure about this one, but when our Logic instructor told us thatHawaii, which is a tropical US state, is now experiencing snow, an influx of horror crept throughout my whole body. To know more about this abnormal climatic condition over Hawaii, read http://www.aolnews.com/2011/01/12/hawaii-makes-it-49-states-with-snow-on-the-ground/.

So, d'ya think this is one of the signs?

Party like, like it’s the end of the world!

With rumors about the world’s end mushrooming on every corner, hmmmm...I guess the best thing to do now is just to PARTY LIKE IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD! Before 2012 comes, let’s not forget that there’s still 2011! If it were true (which I strongly doubt) that we are heading to the end of the world on 2012, then the wisest thing to do now is to enjoy our lives, HAVE A TIME OF OUR LIVES! (sounds familiar? Haha.)

Let us not waste our time peeking through the future, for it’ll only lead us to a false path. It’s not the future which paves the way of our present; instead, it’s ultimately the present which determines the future.

So come on now, let’s all together RAISE OUR GLASS! Cheers! It ain’t the end of the world, I tell you. :)

**HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!

Finding peace behind the clouds

Incessant bombings and killings. Burgeoning corruption and poverty. Chaos--unending chaos.

I turned off the TV. It totally bored me to see all those recurring news regarding our country. Humanity being torn between good and evil, with evil almost embracing victory.

Everything’s just way too disheartening. Way too confusing.

Tired of watching such dismal scenario, I went outside our house. I gazed at the boundless blanket of blue sky above me, tried my luck to seek anything that is possibly there... and prayed. But what could this be that I’m trying to seek? This that I’m deeply longing and praying for?

The fathomless dome above me seemed to be nothing more than a virtual empty space. Yet despite the void that it is, is the presence of a feeling of calmness... a peculiar tranquility giving off an aura of security... but what is this feeling?

I could hardly distinguish this relaxing mood enveloping my very being. What could this be? What could this be that seemed to brush off every dust of weariness that I feel? What could this be that completely silenced all the wailing and the whining inside of me? What could this be that rejuvenated my soul so gloriously?

My consciousness, with all its might, tried to conjure up a reasonable explanation for what it was.
Then my mind fell into one judgment: Peace.

Yes! It should be peace that I was feeling right then. Yes, PEACE--this elusive remedy I was long been searching for, which from out of the blue I suddenly discovered in the midst of my soul-searching. This peace which arrived with an entourage of angels. This that would finally bring solace and relief to my disheartened feeling and enlighten the confusion within.

Oh PEACE! I love this feeling! But if it does exist, why do most people still choose bombings and killings over amicable measures of achieving their goals? Why do politicians still believe that corruption is an effective resort to cultivate and amass wealth? Why do masses of people still have to wallow in poverty’s lair?

Why don’t people just simply dig up the happiness from the simple things? Why choose to listen to an ugly orchestra of divisions, hatred and selfishness when we have the option to sing gleefully in the symphony of brotherhood? Why don’t people just stare at the sky and read behind the clouds the invisible signboard which reads “PEACE” hidden in its vast nothingness?

After mulling this over, I found myself hoping: hoping that people may learn to discover PEACE in their hearts; hoping that people may see the million little things around them worth grinning at; hoping that people would find time to look up at the sky and learn to seek PEACE in their solitude; and finally, hoping that people may learn to kneel in worship and extend both their joy and misery to the one true King of Peace, the Almighty!


Ad majorem dei gloriam!

Dora the explorer meets Herald the grown-up whiner

Can we truly consider DORA as an explorer? Fearless and fierce? I mean, if she’s really an explorer, then I’m sure she’s the lamest in the roster.

Okay, I know I’m just being too hypocritical and a whiner here, but probably brought about by the deficiency of topics to write about, poor Dora has now just become my victim to be subjected into my unnecessary scrutiny.

This morning I happened to watch a complete episode of DORA The Explorer (Tagalog version) aired on ABS-CBN simply because I have no other resort to placate my boredom.

Annoyed with its infantile script (all in poor Tagalog translations) and almost nonsensical storyline, I suddenly muttered to myself:

“Oh, Dora! When will you ever grow up and learn to decide for yourself? You’re supposed to be a valiant, fearless ‘explorer’ bound to overcome all odds with your instincts and sense of independence, not a little princess who is still baby-sat at age what, 8 or 9, and who is accompanied by an equally stupid monkey!”

Yeah. I know it’s only an animated show for kids. So why am I so affected with its stupidity? That I am not sure of!

* thinking *

Well, how about this? Maybe... maybe it’s just that I’ve grown more MATURE (oh really?). Precisely! That explains it! That explains why I can’t stoop to Dora’s level without being uncomfortable. It's like this. An adult, or let's say someone who has a more matured thinking, should get irked with childish things. Little girl crying over her broken doll. Little boy endlessly bugging his mother to buy him a new toy. Quite irksome!

And since I've grown more mature now, it goes without saying that I, too, should also be irritated with her-- with her stupidity I couldn't comprehend and with her big head!

That’s it! Dora’s just a kid who still needs to perch herself in a safe environment to gain security and comfort. Dora is just a child whose hands are still tightly clutched on the railings in order not to fall. Dora is an explorer in her own little world of fantasies. She needs Boots and the audience to decide for her.

But I ain’t like Dora. I just happen to live in the REALITY. A reality which can be fierce and unforgiving at times. A real world with real characters and real experiences. A reality which has now made me more mature and grown-up in the way I view life. In my world, I’ve learned--and still am learning--to be wise with and responsible for my decisions... decisions and their consequences that no one but myself could be held accountable for.

***

Geez! I owe you one Dora for unexpectedly giving me a whole new spectrum of understanding about reality and maturity. :p

An inspired writer wanna-be

After reading some really beautifully-crafted articles written by some of my seniors in the university, I suddenly had this I-also-want-to-be-like-them feeling, and was obviously inspired because of their works. And with a profound admiration for their passion in writing, I then just found myself secretly setting a goal to which my “amateur writer’s life” will surely be tied up with.

***

I want to be a writer, not just someone who knows the proverbial subject-verb agreement and conforms to the complex set of grammatical rules.

I want to be a good writer. Someone who can put into a beautiful tapestry of writing my feelings and my thoughts. Someone who can make his hand and his pen smoothly work together like that of the formless water flowing so exquisitely in whatever kind of surface it may stumble across. Be it rough and rocky or level and smooth, it still can stream freely.

Yes, I want to be good in writing. To be good in letting my mind freely embody its repertoire of ideas into words. To be good at breathing life to a jumble of flowery words. To be good at aggregating my scattered and wandering thoughts. Yes, to be good at expressing myself.

***

I was just inspired. Sometimes, a little dose of inspiration is just what it takes to get me steaming with enthusiasm and drive me overly melodramatic about the trivial things. But hey, lemme make this clear, writing isn't a trivial thing for me anymore. Matter of fact, I just made a sort of an official statement, haven't I? :p

Si Juan dela Cruz sa entablado ng mundo

(Speech nako, activity sa Filipino 22!)


Kilalanin si Juan dela Cruz. Balat ay kulay-kayumanggi. Tahana’y sa munting bahay-kubo na napapaligiran ng halimuyak ng sampaguita. Katawa’y nakabalot sa kanyang mahiblang barong-tagalog. Sipag at tiyaga’y kahambing ng ‘sang kalabaw. Nagkamulat na mahirap kaya’t di’ naninibago sa karukhaan. Buhay niya: isang kahig, isang tuka! Gayunpaman, sa kabila ng kahirapang kinasasadlakan, si Juan ay tunay na hinahangaan ng buong mundo. Sa anumang larangan – palakasan, musika at marami pang iba – siya’y namamayagpag. Siya’y tanyag sa buong mundo – sapagkat si Juan ay isang PILIPINO!

Mga minamahal kong kaibigan at kababayan, bilang pambungad, pahintulutan niyo akong ibuhos ang aking malugod na pagbati sa inyong lahat ng isang MAGANDANG HAPON!

Ako’y naririto sa inyong harapan upang ipabatid na ang Juan dela Cruz na patuloy na inaabot ang tugatog ng katanyagan sa pandaigdigang entablado ay salamin ng bawat Pilipino. Ito’y nangangahulugan lamang na sa bawat isa sa atin nananalaytay ang dugo ni Juan dela Cruz – ang Juan na maaaring maging susunod na Manny ‘Pacman’ Pacquiao; ang inaasahang susunod sa mga yapak ng matagumpay na mang-aawit na sina Charice Pempengco at Arnel Pineda; ang ipinagdarasal na magmamana at susungkit ng korona matapos kay Maria Venus Raj; ang magpapatuloy sa kabayanihan ni Efren Peñaflorida; at ang tutulad sa sinibak na pulis na si Rolando Mendoza? Nawa’y huwag naman sana!

Nagimbal nga hindi lamang ang bansa kundi maging ang apat na sulok ng mundo matapos ng masaklap at kahindik-hindik na hostage crisis na kinasangkutan ni dating Police Senior Inspector Rolando Mendoza at ng ilang mga dayuhang nais lamang maglibang dito sa ating bansa. Isang kaganapang nauwi sa isang madugong larawan. Isang nakapanlulumong trahedya na naghatid ngayon sa ating bansa sa bumabahang kahihiyan. Sa ngayon, binabato tayo ng masasakit na pintas at batikos mula sa mga dayuhan, lalo na ng Hongkong, na nakasaksi sa kapalpakan at kakulangan ng Pilipinas sa pagtugon sa nasabing insidente. Kasinglungkot ng pagkamatay ng mga sangkot, nakapandudurog-puso rin na basta-basta na lamang nilalait ng marami ang lahi ni Juan dela Cruz dahil lamang sa iisang pangyayari. Maging si Pangulong Noynoy Aquino’y hindi rin nakalusot sa pangungutya. Sa kasalukuyan, ang imahe ni Juan dela Cruz ay ang mismong mukha ni ROLANDO MENDOZA!

Mga kaibigan, hindi ko layon ang magbintang o sisihin ang kung sinuman. Ngayong wasak na ang imahen ng bayang Pilipinas, ang ninanais ko lamang ay maipabatid sa buong mundo na hindi lahat ng Pilipino ay katulad ni Mendoza. Hindi lahat ay mamamatay-tao. Hindi lahat ay pusong-bato.

Ang PILIPINO ay likas na mabuti. Sa katunayan, bantog ang mga Pilipino sa kanilang katangiang tumanggap ng mga panauhin na para bagang sariling mga kaanak lamang. Siya’y mapagmahal at maunawa. Kabiyak ng kanyang takot sa Diyos, nagsusumikap siya upang maabot ang kanyang mga pangarap. Sa kabila ng mga balakid sa buhay, hindi namamatay ang alab ng kanyang pagpupursige, bagkus, lalo pa siyang nauudyok na magsumikap at magtiyaga alang-alang sa kanyang mga pinaninindigang prinsipyo sa buhay. Gayon nga’y nagawang masungkit nina Pacquiao, Pempengco, Pineda, Raj, Peñaflorida at marami pang matagumpay na Pilipino ang kanilang mga pangarap sa buhay kupkop ang mga natatanging katangiang PILIPINO!

Ngayon, mula sa karagatan ng kahihiyan, umahon tayo! Huwag tayong magpagapi sa agos ng rumaragasang suklam ng mundo. Mapait man ang sinapit ng mga biktima, kasuklam-suklam man ang ginawa ni Mendoza, bumangon tayo dala ang mga napulot na aral! Malabo mang maghilom ang sugat, subukan nating itayo ang nawasak na larawan ng Pilipinas at muling ibandila ang pangalan nito sa buong daigdig! Mahirap man ilibing sa limot ang trahedya, kumapit pa rin tayo sa positibong banda. Kumapit tayo sa mga mabubuting katangian ni Juan na nagdala sa atin sa pandaigdigang entablado.

Sa kasagsagan ng mga pangyayari, ito ang pangarap ko: na sana’y makitang muli ng mundo ang Pilipino sa larawan ng isang TUNAY NA PILIPINO – at tuluyang maaninag muli si Juan dela Cruz sa tinitingalang entablado ng mundo!

Maraming salamat! Pagpalain nawa tayong lahat!

Not the best, just the ordinary

I am—well at least I was—that somebody who used to be the center of attraction when I was in high school, surely not because I possess those rare savagely attractive looks, but only because I was then what they called the achiever, and all the other names that might come along with it—the honor student, the studious, the bookworm… always the winner, excellent!

In the same sense, the thought that I used to be the one to be focused on the spotlight has also made me believe that I was exceptional, different from among the others. All was a vivid picture of an ordinary public high school, where ordinary students come and go, and where ordinary teachers just remain for almost the rest of their lives. And at the back of my mind, I certainly knew: I was different.

But soon, a sudden gust of fate might blow everything I used to believe in. I will now be entering college and will be brawling over the hectic and unforgiving routines of a university. I’ll then be wrapped by its school uniform bespeaking that I am a proud Atenista, which will somehow make me appear more scholarly than I thought I had already been. I will soon be poring over the thick textbooks that my subjects would require me and also be scribbling down notes in the conformity of my classes. I will soon be trying myself to be accustomed to commuting from now and then as I pay visit to my town, as well as budgeting my allowance in the wisest way possible.

And the most dreadful of all—yet probably the most exciting and challenging—is that I will also be starting to wear the figure I previously least liked and cared about: the ORDINARY figure. I will soon bear the mask that will identify me as one normal student, not the 'me' who once used to be the achiever, who had gotten used to the fame over the spotlight. I will be under the guise of someone who is not an excellent student, but rather, just under the figure of an ordinary student.

YES! I am fully aware that as soon as I enter the world of college, I’d also have to expect less of myself, because out there lurks a huge heap of students which is definitely as competent—or even more competent—as myself. While I know that this is not a wise and a good option to do, I still believe that the only way for me to get through college is to lower my self-esteem, to wreck my pride and to shatter my confidence in order to be not regretting anything or getting embarrassed in the end.

This might be good for me in the long run. I won’t expect much of myself in such a world where I might be inferior to my colleagues. I won’t dare fight against such strong opponents, for if I do, I know I’ll only end up affirming the fact that I am weak, maybe the weakest. I fear to lose, but I fear more the fact of losing against those whom I already knew are undisputed and unbeatable.

I may be a coward now. But so be it, 'coz I am indeed a coward.

In this new chapter of my life, I am ready—but still afraid—to face what this new twist has in store for me. In college, I won't become the best, and surely cannot be the best. That’s why I’ve decided to wear the ORDINARY STUDENT mask, wherein I will look like just an ordinary student: burdened with pressure, and then eventually defeated by the pressure. I will work on my clearances like an ordinary student, not expecting to maintain my scholarship. I will study my lessons and read my books and still won’t expect to get the highest score.

I will follow the routines of a normal student: school, home, school, home… and yet, I will not expect to be caught by the blinding spotlight and the flashes of praises from the people around me. I will do my best, but I won’t expect to be on the top. There in the prestigious university I will soon attend to, I am not a somebody, I am just the ordinary. And I better get myself up on this piercing truth.

That’s how life would definitely go in college. And as life goes under the sun, I’ll be most comfortable—and most unhappy—to be wearing the ordinary figure. I will just be the normal student--not the best, just the ordinary. =(

Welcoming the Next 365 Days

"Lovelife?" Then a long pause. "Give me a break!" That would definitely be the least I would ask for this New Year 2010, the last thing my mouth would utter, or perhaps, one that would never come out from it – eternally never.

Anyways, could it be a bad sign if your explosives don’t burn and explode as they are supposed to be when the clock strikes 12 o’clock at the tail of December – as in New Year?

I did not give the chagrin much of a thought. Instead, I just busied myself with the pleasure of devouring the Double Dutch flavored ice cream which my mother bought for our media noche. And there’s a chocolate cake too, tapioca , and uh, I can’t really recall them all. The ice cream just had a soothing effect for me over the stress of knowing that I still have my term paper to be done and a lot of Math activities to be dealt with.

It’s New Year afterall – why in the world would I burden my mind with so much thoughts? At that very moment, I care least with everything and all, except for the fresh arrival of 2010 at the doorsteps of our house – and of course, the delicious ice cream in my grip.

I became oblivious again with the time. Before I knew it...

"10... 9... 8... 7... 6..."

Here it goes! The usual synchronized countdown of the multitude during this time of the year now reverberates with euphoria in the air – to welcome the New Year! And then...

"5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Happy New Year!"

I couldn’t imagine that within just a fraction of a second, we’ve finally taken the leap from 2009 to the fresher 2010. Just a fraction of a second.Whew!

With the uncooperativeness of the explosives we bought, I just solemnly watched the fireworks in the plaza which could still be visible from our place even if it was too distant from where the fireworks are actually being lit. I just watched from a distance – with peculiar sadness yet with joy, with fear yet with excitement and hope.

That’s all I need to feel now. Hope and love. Knowing that everything would be okay... with my cherished friends and family... and with God and my faith in Him along every undertaking... I am so much at ease now.

What if the 12 kinds of round fruits in the table don’t come in complete attendance? What’s the matter if the explosives don’t burn and glow? I deliberately don’t care now, as long as I am happy with the people I love as I witness 2010’s arrival – that would suffice.

And now a faint curve of smile paved its way on my face, then I murmured: "Maybe that’s why I don’t need ‘ love life’ then..."

I can still gladly embrace 2010, and welcome the next 365 days, with or without this intriguing LOVE LIFE. =)

(waLang magawa!!)

Meeting New Life With The 'Old' You

The contrails left by the afternoon jet in the bronze blanket of the atmosphere just above where I stood are now starting to fade and dispel along with the temporary farewell of the sun, as it is now ready to embrace the bleakness of the night.

I stood there, motionless, as I marvel at the few glitters suspended in the dimming sky, simultaneously beginning to twinkle before my eyes.

Few hours from this exquisitely beautiful dusk, I will have to bid goodbye to year 2009 – for a new year will freshly blossom, exuding the scents of everything it would bring in, and leaving behind all the trails of memories engraved during the entire sojourn of 2009.

Few moments from now, my life – and all our lives- will have to embark into another chapter of time and history – the arrival of year 2010.

Yes. New Year, new chapter – another journey to conquer, more challenges waiting to be won, and a fresh new life to be lived. New life, huh? I momentarily took a pause just for the sake of nothing else but to think and contemplate. Is it necessary to have a life anew in the onset of a new year? Like that of a cold-blooded snake shedding its skin in some particular points of its existence? I’m certainly uncertain about this thought.

Time unfolds as time itself passes, but the lives we used to have will always be the same lives we will be navigating in the future, despite the shifting of the seasons , the changes of time – of years, months, weeks, so on and so forth. It then reflects that despite these changes surrounding our consciousness, new life isn’t what it takes to be worthy of embracing the new year. Perhaps, it would be better to greet 2010 with your old self – your old ‘you’, which has endured the capricious waves of life’s vindictive, yet inspiring trials and experiences. It would be no less than the original and old ‘you’ who should gratefully welcome 2010 with the confidence and contentment that alas, year 2009 has just been conquered – mission accomplished! – and also with the fighting spirit and eagerness to do exactly the same with the new year 2010, to win over it!

Changes come and go. Our egos shift; our moods alter from time to time; our looks renew; hair grows and lengthens but then cut it whenever we feel like it. Just like a new leaf sprouting at the tip of a twig held by the strong branches of a mighty tree – very soon, that leaf will lose its color and vigor and will eventually wilt. Nevertheless, just directly where it dies off, a new leaf will once again bud and replace the dry, dead one. A cycle of changes.

Changes, then, are changing. They are transient because that’s they are supposed to be. And they surround us. But ourselves will always be ourselves no matter how we believe we might have changed. In this New Year, what we need to do is to remain as strong and as determined as we were before – because 2010 will just be strolling around for a while, we’ll never know how short it could be and how short it would be toying around and how playful it might turn out to. However, if we will just hold on to the faith and strength which propelled us to emerge as victors over the previous years, we will surely overcome the entire extent of unexpected things that 2010 has in store for us.

And before we know it, 2010 will just be another pretty fragment of memory buried deep within us... a jewel in the chest of treasured moments... a strip of jubilant period in the tapestry of this perplexing life – of course, with that peculiar joy and satisfaction for having just won over it, for having just won over another battle!

(dRama mOde... as alwayS! heheheh)